I’m going to get a 26.2 sticker for the back of my van, and when people ask me which marathon did I participate in, I’m going to respond: “January.” Because despite not having run a single day in this new year, my heart feels as if it has run nearly every day. Which, I guess makes sense because the heart is a muscle after all. And with the heart being a muscle, I figure stretching it each day is a good idea. It gets plenty of use despite my lack of running. A couple weeks ago I had to suddenly (emotionally) sprint. I didn’t go to the doctor or anything, but I think I might have sprained my heart, or at least pulled it. So I wrapped it up and I tried to protect it from any sort of strenuous use. But when you live with 10+ people, that’s near impossible. So the strain is taking longer to recover than I wanted.
The key to avoiding an injury of the heart is stretching. Keep it flexible, warmed up, and ready to go. As we grow older, and relationships become more complicated, nuanced, fraught with possible offenses and griefs, we make our hearts stronger by allowing them to grow softer. Massage out the charley horses of our hearts, knead them out with grace and gentleness like they’re lumps of dough. To do so lets them rise and expand.
When we allow our hearts to grow brittle, they break very easily. There is something to be said for still allowing your heart to break, though. It means you were vulnerable, exposed to the elements. It’s better to experience heartbreak than it is to hide your heart under layers and layers of padding or protected by thick layers of armor. And it’s definitely better than never using your heart and letting yourself grow apathetic and cold. There are worse things than a broken heart is what I’m saying.
But I’m training my heart to grow so soft that it can’t be broken. And at this point in my life, it needs stretched frequently. It gets worked out a lot! Sometimes when my heart is sore after a lot of use, and I know it has some hidden knots, I ask my wife for a heart massage. No one is better at finding them than her. While we eat a meal together, I sense her little fingers feeling around for those hidden knots of my heart, and because she loves me, she works them out, massaging them in little circles until I feel the release of tension. She’s become quite the heart masseuse.
When life is hectic and we feel overwhelmed, we often think the only way forward is to try harder or give up. But in this marathon, when you start to cramp up, don’t try harder, and don’t give up, either. Take a breather, stretch out your heart, and try softer.
Stepping Back 