People don’t change because they were told to.
People don’t change because they were shown how to.
People change because they want to.
Circumstances are unpredictable and other people will let you down. We know this. And you won’t be able to prevent hard situations, and you won’t be able to control difficult people either. The only thing you can control is how you respond. And that’s still much easier said than done.
So often we want to be right about things. But being right ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Being right doesn’t change anything. And it can keep you at arm’s length from someone else relationally. Especially someone distrustful of you. Being right about someone else’s future can often keep you from living more fully with them in the present. And time is precious.
People often choose to learn the hard way. They don’t listen to advice. They refuse to take responsibility. And so your prophecies and predictions about their lives will probably come true. Whoopty freakin doo. Being right ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
No one wants to be told “I told you so.” So don’t be that person. In fact, work really hard on yourself to not be that person. And you can still tell someone “I told you so” without using those exact words. So don’t do that either.
It’s unlikely people will change because of you. So focus on being the sort of person that still loves people who have chosen not to change. They’re often isolated because they have already burned many of the bridges around them. I’m not saying to have bad boundaries or stay in an abusive situation. But be a safe person to those in need. It’ll take a lot of patience, but I still think it’s worth it.
I don’t know about you, but being right, when I look back on it, hasn’t been so great for me. I haven’t really gained anything by being right. What, my ego stays puffed up? Yippee! I think I’ve actually lost more by being right than I have from being wrong.
I have certainly learned more from being wrong than I ever have from being right. But what I’ve learned most from it all is that I need to be better about letting others learn that, too. And then once they’ve made whatever mistakes they’ve made, invite them over for dinner. When they show up, invited or not, give them a quiet hug and then sit at the dining room table to eat a nice home cooked meal together. Make conversation. Maybe tears are involved. Maybe not, but make sure you do tell stories that cause you to laugh together. Laughter is immeasurable.
A good meal with a person you love will always be better than being right and eating alone.
Stepping Back 